I Lend My Shoes To Whoever Judges My Path

Sometimes we have enough to think about with our daily obligations that we also have to be judged by other people about what we are doing or what we are not doing.

It would be wrong to say that it does not affect us.

It is not easy to turn a deaf ear to comments that dare to judge our actions. Especially if they come from important people like our family, our friends etc.

Now, no one will be a genuine friend or significant loved one if they dare to judge us without knowing our emotions. Or without knowing our experiences or what we carry on our backs and in our hearts.

No one other than you knows the pain of those stones you must have picked up. And the rivers you’ve crossed, sometimes without asking anyone for help.

In this article, we invite you to think about that.

The path we have built and the vital paths that define us

You are not just that woman reflected in the mirror. The way you dress doesn’t define you, nor the words you say to others.

You are this path and all of your lived experiences and integrated deep within your being, those that others do not know and that no one should know if you want it to stay that way.

No one is obligated to talk about their disappointments, failures or victories. So why do some people sometimes dare to judge without knowing?

• People used to judging others tend to be the most frustrated.

• They often have dissatisfied personalities and project their need for control onto others.

• It is frequent that many of our close judges: “You did everything wrong from the start, you believe that you can achieve everything when it is not always like that”.

• These people judge us with the intention of helping us and teaching us, but in reality they want to control us and have us “fit in” with their way of thinking.
• Sometimes the one who judges the path tries to justify his own life, discrediting others. It is something very common.
• In reality, when we are judged, we are not given any valid argument. These people almost always seek attack, affront or contempt. Their reasoning is very reductive.

• These people lack self-criticism. They are not able to emphasize their own actions and their own words to see that they are making mistakes or that they can do wrong. They limit themselves to projecting all criticism onto others.

• In general, people accustomed to judging our path do not have an authentic life, strong tastes, or passions that help them put things into perspective and stop focusing on others.

How to defend yourself from the judgments of others

Often times we say that these judgments do not affect us, and they can be, as long as they come from a co-worker or someone with whom we have no intimate connection.

Now what happens when a friend, spouse, or loved one judges your path?

In this case, it is common to feel offended, and even hurt. The first thing to do is to stay calm and focus on yourself, through verbalizations like the following:

“I know who I am, I know what I have passed and I feel proud of every step taken as well as every learning obtained from my mistakes”. “No one other than me has the right to judge me because only I know how I feel and how happy I am with my way of being and with all that I have obtained”. 

Advice

• Once you’ve reaffirmed and protected your self-esteem, then avoid making hurtful comments.
  If you show contempt or anger, it will take longer for negative feelings to go away. They will also cause more damage.

• Show disappointment.  No one has the right to judge you that way. So show the people who judge you without knowing you that they are disappointing you.

• Who dares to criticize your paths and your paths taken is not a good traveling companion. It doesn’t matter if it’s your mother, your brother or your spouse.

• The one who does not accept that you have made a mistake and judges you for it has a high opinion of himself.
  The person who sees himself as someone who never makes mistakes or who does not make bad decisions, lacks self-criticism and therefore empathy.

Conclusion

If day by day you only receive value judgments from the people around you, you will feel humiliated by foreign opinions.

In this case, you will need to know whether it is best to distance yourself from people who are unable to see your worth, the light you impart, and your integrity.