6 Tips For Speaking With Honesty And Empathy

Too much empathy can cause us to lie to avoid hurting others. And too much honesty can make us sound rude. How do we balance these two qualities in our relationships?

How to speak with honesty and empathy? Honesty is a fundamental value in dealing with others. No one likes to find out that they have been cheated or betrayed. This feeling inevitably leads to a loss of trust in the person who lied.

However, when it comes to honesty, not everything is valid. Especially when you take into account that the feelings of others are at stake. Therefore, honesty and empathy are two qualities that must go hand in hand.

In today’s society, individualism, competitiveness and a poorly understood independence prevail. For this reason, we sometimes assume that sincerity is the best policy. However, we forget the consequences our words can have on others. How to be honest and empathetic at the same time? Here are a few tips.

What is honesty?

Honesty is the ability to align thoughts, words, and actions. In this way, the person expresses what he considers to be true and, in the same way, he acts in coherence with what he thinks and says. Honesty leaves no room for lies, falsehood or concealment. There is also no room for empty words or broken promises.

An honest person is real and genuine, he expresses this truth even if the consequences are not favorable to him. It is a personal value closely linked to integrity and respect for oneself and others.

What is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes in order to understand their thought process and identify the emotions they are experiencing. To show empathy is to be attentive to the internal and emotional world of others, it is to do the exercise of going out of yourself to adopt the position of the person in front of you.

An empathetic person doesn’t judge, lie, or humiliate because they understand the impact their actions have on others. On the other hand, empathy appeals to understanding, tact and human quality.

What is the link between these two values?

Although at first glance honesty and empathy are two terms that have little in common, the reality is that their combination is indispensable in everyday life. In other words, one without the other can lead to negative consequences.

For example,  too much empathy leads to lying to avoid hurting someone else. These are called “white lies”. Even though this attitude helps to avoid conflict in the short term, it ends up generating a feeling of guilt and betrayal in the person who discovers the lack of honesty.

But, on the other hand, sincerity without empathy is also not functional. Being direct and sincere without considering the emotional side of others can make us abrupt, rude, or tactless people. As a result, we can fall victim to social rejection or interpersonal conflict.

4 tips for speaking with honesty and empathy

Ultimately, honesty and empathy must go hand in hand if we are to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships. However,  it is not always easy to apply these two qualities at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve this.

1. Respect

When we communicate with other individuals, respect should always prevail. Respecting others means considering them worthy of knowing the truth, and therefore being honest with them. But it also means taking your feelings into account. No one deliberately harms someone they respect.

2. Work on assertiveness

The assertive communication is essential. Sometimes the fear of being rejected or that our opinion will be badly received prompts us to lie in an attempt to please. Therefore, it is necessary to improve self-confidence and learn to express ourselves with confidence.

Likewise, if we get carried away by aggression and are unable to control our impulses, we can hurt the other with our words. Realize that in order to get our point across , we don’t need to demean the point of view of the person in front of us.

3. Use constructive language

To convey an unpleasant message to another person, it is best to use constructive language. What does that mean ? Knowing how to choose the right words and offer proposals and solutions instead of criticizing or judging.

4. Take care of non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication is even more important than words. So aspects such as tone of voice, body posture, or when and where you want to communicate an idea can make all the difference. It is essential to be attentive to it so that the interlocutor does not feel attacked or threatened.

Honesty and empathy to live better

Values ​​define us as people, and are manifested through our actions and interactions with others. Showing honesty and empathy in day-to-day living may take some effort at first, but in the long run it results in greater levels of personal and social well-being.