Characteristics Of Toxic Love

Often times, toxic love makes us leave our friends behind. The problem is, if the relationship ends, the friends we left behind disappear.

Toxic love is present in more relationships than we realize. It is a feeling that leads us down the path of bitterness and to a future or even imminent rupture.

However, this may be the kind of love we have been taught. The one that stems from our fears, our illusions and our slightly mistaken beliefs.

Today we are going to discuss some characteristics of toxic love that keep us from feeling happy and completely fulfilled in our relationships.

Toxic love

Trying to change the other

In toxic love, there is one constant: the intention to change the other person. We want her to transform like the perfect spouse that we imagine in our head.

In this way, we avoid accepting the other person as they are and loving them that way. What, in truth, we love is the idea that one day she will become that perfect mate that we have always idealized in our heads.

It only brings frustration, because changing someone is a daunting task that takes away a lot of energy and never brings the desired results.

Emotional dependence

We can say that it is one of the great evils of our time. The fear of being alone, the fear that no one loves us makes us emotional addicts.

Sometimes behind this attitude hides a childhood full of emotional deprivation and trauma, which will influence future relationships.

Emotional dependence absorbs, consumes and confuses love and strong addiction.

To own is not to love

Here is one of the big mistakes many couples make that leads them down the road to bitterness.

• To own, not to allow breathing, to exhaust, to control, this is not love, it is insecurity.
• No one owns, and we don’t belong to anyone. We are free and we should never find ourselves in this configuration.

However, behind all this possession, there is a lack of trust in the spouse. The fear that he will be unfaithful to us, that he will flirt with other people, that he will leave us …

Sometimes it arises because the person is having thoughts. Other times, it is the result of a negative experience, we come out damaged because of one of these reasons.

In the face of frustration, raise your hand

Hitting someone we love, mistreating them is not something we should allow. Even if the situation is bad, no one has the right to lay a hand on you.

When your partner mistreats you, not just physically but also verbally, love is obviously toxic.

Differences should be discussed, no one should submit to the will of the other. Respect must always be present.

It’s understandable that in the first few months of the relationship, we spend a lot of time together and let our friends down a bit. Newness calls us and we want to discover lots of things about the person who captivates us in a short time.

But, when it lasts more than a year, or even two or three years, the situation becomes a little more delicate.

• You don’t go anywhere if your partner is not with you, you no longer see your friends if your partner cannot come and therefore you see them less and less.
• There is something you forget is that friendships, if taken care of, are lifelong, while a relationship has its days.

Be careful, because when your relationship is no longer there, you will want to take refuge with your friends. And they may not be there anymore.

Love based on illusions

It is the toxic love from which we have a lot of difficulty to detach ourselves, because it has a very strong link with the first phase, when we fall in love.

Expectations and illusions cause our spouse to idealize. But what happens over time? It all comes to an end and we begin to “seek each other out” for things that before seemed trivial to us.

Many relationships change over time without partners realizing it. But mature love opens our eyes from the start and doesn’t get carried away by expectations that are only real in our mind.

Do you think you are suffering from toxic love? Now that you know its characteristics, now is the time to avoid falling into it, even if it is difficult and takes a lot of effort. Courage!